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Monday, November 14, 2005

War!!! [New Posts Below]

Many good men gave their lives to get the information you are about to read, and in spite of the dangers, I will not fail them.

Though many of us are too young to remember, the Internet was not always the tyrannical hegemony it has become. Once, all bloggers lived in peace, happiness, and relative equality. Citizens around the world hailed the rise of the blogs as “The Democratization of Media.”

But there was one blogger who was not satisfied with his share of the net. In his conceit and pride, he sought total dominion over his fellow bloggers. Into his blog, he poured his malice, his hatred, and his cruelty, reveling in the potent intoxicant of his soaring hit counter.

Independent bloggers rallied, removing all links to him from their sites, but it was too late. One by one, they fell to the awesome power of the Instapundit. Soon it appeared he would subjugate the entire blogosphere by the overwhelming force of his evil.

But all hope is not lost. Out of the dark abyss of the net an alliance of free bloggers has risen up to challenge Instapundit’s dominion. By the use of mutual links and
subtle misinformation (which Instapundit so ingraciously calls “lies”), they seek to overthrow the fearsome tyrant.

I have sworn to use my blog for the defense of my principles, and there is no greater principle than that of Liberty. I am dreadfully certain that regardless of my fate, Instapundit must be stopped! The freedom of the Net hangs in the balance.

As I sit at my computer and type this post, I am pitting my tiny, quiet blog against the vast forces of Intsapundit and his minions. But as with Winston Churchill, who led his small island nation against the might of Hitler’s Blitzkrieg, “it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

Right Wing Testimonial may be small, but we are not alone. We will clash against this Hegemon with such veracity and determination that not even he shall stand before us!

To my fellow bloggers: I know how you yearn for peace. I myself desperately long for the happy, peaceful, halcyon days of my young blog, but I can no longer ignore the forces moving against my independence. The web has finally teetered past the brink of war, and all will be swept into its maelstrom. No longer can you claim neutrality; you must pick a side. Will you
Stand for Freedom, or will you Stand for Tyranny? The choice is clear.

This is a declaration of war. There is no turning back, I am committed, and I for one will fight!

Sic Semper Tyrannis!

For Your Information:

Glenn puts puppies in blenders and drinks them;

Glenn murders hobos for fun

Glenn worships Satan

Glenn is a communist spy who does the robot dance

Glenn punched Frank J.


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